Tuesday, December 18, 2018

Another year without my sister.
It sucks, still.
Another 100 notes, from myself and my students.
Happy to carry on her legacy, even if it means one kid will know the value of taking the time out to tell someone, in what is becoming an antiquated, old-fashioned way, that they mean something to them.

RIP, Jen.


Monday, December 18, 2017

an opportunity to say "thank you"

I just mailed out about 100 handwritten notes.... from my students.

I decided to go to work today, on the 5th anniversary of my sister's passing.

I hadn't been able to do that before, and quite frankly, I wasn't so sure I would make it through the day.

I had the idea to ask my kids to write a thank you note to whomever they wanted and I would buy the cards and pay for postage.

I almost lost my nerve.  I didn't know if they would want to, and I didn't want to pressure anyone into doing it.  And I really didn't want to talk about something so unpleasant as my sister dying.  I knew enough not to tell them until after they had finished.

I don't know if it's because they're just really nice kids who generally will do what I ask, or if they were intrigued by why I was asking them, or if they just were thrilled I wasn't asking them to do math for 10 minutes, but almost every kid wrote a note, and some asked for more.

These are some of the nicest, kindest kids I've ever had the pleasure of teaching, and if they weren't this way I don't think I would have had the nerve to open up enough to tell them something so painful and personal.  I have the best job in the world, and I teach some of the most wonderful kids anyone could ever ask for, and I count them among my blessings.

Thanks, students of mine, for making today less painful, for giving me purpose, today and every day.

I hope they find that the person who receives their note(s) will be touched by their sentiments, and I hope this is a tradition they carry with them long after they're not in my classroom.



Sunday, December 17, 2017

Re-post on the 5th anniversary of Jen's death.
Miss you, Jen.

***
Herb, Jennifer, Cindy, and Bonnie Phillips
My sister Jennifer died suddenly of Diabetes on December 18, 2012.  She was barely 37 years old.

Jennifer had a really difficult life.  She was diagnosed with Turner's syndrome when she was really young.  Turner's syndrome girls develop many health problems, and Jennifer had a lot of health problems in her short life.  She often felt really sad that she had so many health problems and felt like she was dealt a really bad deck of cards.

Despite that, one of Jennifer's greatest pleasures was to buy, write, and send greeting cards to people she knew.  She sent them for every life event: birthdays, anniversaries, religious days, and "just because."  She was really old-fashioned this way.

When Jennifer died, people came out of the woodworks to say what a beautiful soul she was, and how she would often be the only one to commemorate an event with a card, and how much it meant for those people to receive them.

As her sister, I didn't really appreciate receiving her cards.  It used to feel like it wasn't even a day that went by before I received a thank-you note to a gift I had purchased her; "I'm your sister!  You don't have to send me a thank-you card!!" I would scoff.  Of course, I'm sure she was incensed that I never sent her any.

After Jen died, my father said, "you're going to want to see this."  It was a thank-you note to me, from her, for bringing her shrimp and calling her after she was in a car accident.  She didn't have the time to mail it, but it still found its way into my hands, post-mortem.

I treasure that card so much.

In her memory, I am going to send 100 Handwritten Notes in 100 days to people who want them.

My handwriting is awful.
I'm a leftie so the pen always smudges.
It doesn't matter.

Jennifer, I miss you and think of you every day.  This is for you.

Wednesday, October 1, 2014

BlueQ socks, in order...

This isn't a handwritten note, but it is a letter, so I'm posting it here, because it seems to be making a lot of people happy.  At least, people who don't own BlueQ.

-----
Dear BlueQ, self-proclaimed “proud designers and manufacturers of life-improving, joy-bringing products since 1988,”

http://www.blueq.com/shop/item/229-productId.125847381_229-catId.117440802.html

I was browsing the aisles of a cute store in Raleigh when, out of the corner of my eye, I caught a glimpse of the word “math” on a brightly colored sock.

Oh, how exciting, I thought, a math sock. Something that I can wear to school, to proudly proclaim my utter love of, devotion to, and appreciation for mathematics.

But wait… the sock says, in a font so ridiculous it makes comic sans look like something worthy of a Master’s thesis… “The three things I hate most are math.”

Of course. Of course it does. And it’s pink and purple and “girly."  And the sock pattern looks like some creature from the book Flatland (google it) threw up on it.

Well, this sucks.

At least, tell me there’s a coordinating boy sock version.

Of course there isn’t.

Never mind that your socks are ugly. Never matter that your font choice is regrettable. Never mind the fact that you can’t seem to decide if the appropriate grammar for your cheeky little sock-quip is “the three things I hate most ARE math” (as written on the sock) or “the three things I hate most IS math” (as featured on the website.) You claim that these socks are perfect for “you, your bestie, and your aunt” and that “unlike calculus, I can guarantee that you’ll use these socks when you get older.”
Nice job, BlueQ. This stereotype is old, anachronistic, played out, and most of all, STUPID AND WRONG.

Do you REMEMBER the Barbie that said “math is hard” when you pulled the string?
Or the JCPenney “I’m too pretty to do homework” shirt?
Or the Forever 21’s “Allergic to Algebra” shirt?

Enough. Seriously, enough.

I own a dress made from a binary print fabric from modcloth:











 http://www.modcloth.com/shop/dresses/as-days-go-binary-dress?kpid=84256-BLUPR-4XPLUS&gclid=CjwKEAjwhqShBRDS95LciqqaonISJADj1rgaIT5nQYLDJtfr9MCS1IUahhnQOF-sULliSLB8CXxzlhoCf_Hw_wcB

Do you know how many young women stop me to tell me that my dress is awesome, and want to know where I got it? Do you know what an opportunity you missed out on in your misguided and offensive design choice?

Upon looking further, I notice that your socks are all women’s socks. And they have such useful, sage phrases for the modern young woman:

"Men ruin stuff."
"It’s my parents’ fault."
"Stay away from assholes."
"Getting freaky-deaky is okey-dokey."

Any my personal least-favorite:

 "Huh? Wait, what?… oh no??"

It seems as though your misogyny runs much deeper than a superficial disdain for mathematics.
If it makes you feel better, you’re not alone. Socksmith sells a "math genius” sock, and it’s only available in men’s sizing.


http://www.amazon.com/Socksmith-Mens-Genius-Trouser-Green/dp/B00M304TOS/ref=sr_1_15?s=apparel&ie=UTF8&qid=1412044594&sr=1-15

I don’t even know how this crap persists. A woman just won the Fields Medal, for chrissake. (You can google that, too.)

Your website asks, “did this product make you happy? We sure hope it did! Hugs and Kisses! Let us know right here.”

So I’m taking this opportunity to let you know. NO, this product does not make me happy. You have brought me no joy, as promised in your company mission statement. I hate everything you stand for and your stupid, ugly, antifeminist, socks. Especially the math one.

Cindy Phillips
National Board Certified Mathematics Teacher
18 years and running

_____


Dear Cindy Phillips,

Hello, I'm one of the owners of Blue Q and your letter found its way to me.

We're always receptive to hearing our customer's comments. But your venomous delivery pulls the rug out from under your arguments. -It's hard to wade through your bile to see if there's a valid point worth considering.

You may need a refresher course in lightening up at your local community college. Maybe remember the world is host to paradoxes, fears and foibles, that aren't roped off from commentary because you say so. Some people think math is hard, and want to laugh about it. Not OK? -We find self-appointed manners cops unsettling and scary.

(We have ladies socks full of love and optimism, but you may find them ugly, too.)

The men will get their due on some socks soon. Like it or not, Blue Q's oeuvre speaks to a wide range of truths and fictions, and no single item defines us.

And if you don't like our visual style, move on. Maybe I don't like your bathroom wallpaper. Who cares? Are you a self-appointed style cop, too?

Blue Q is a kind company. We're the area's largest local employer of individuals with disabilities. We  take garbage out of the waste stream and make reusable plastic bags . We donate hundreds of thousands of dollars to the environment and world health organizations. We coddle and care for our employees.

But you state that you hate everything we stand for.

Do the math.

Sincerely,

Mitch Nash

--------

Now, I have A LOT to say about this.  And I'll get there.  But the BEST PART is that Mitch, I'm assuming unknowingly, SENT ME THE FORWARD FROM HIS COLLEAGUE.  Please enjoy this one:

From: Silka Glanzman
Sent: Tuesday, September 30, 2014 8:55 AM
To: Mitch Nash
Cc: Steven Wardlaw; Katie Frisina
Subject: FW: Comment approval required

Good Morning, Pal.

We just got this comment on the I Hate Math socks...

I don't really think the review section of the website is the right forum for this kind of conversation, but the fact that Ms. Phillips submitted it there seems to mean that she wants this to be a publicly addressed issue. So maybe... do we want to do a blog post? She's not the only one - I had a women the other day write me a message on Facebook about this design being "anti-feminist."  We could spin it in a funny, check out all our girl power items kind of thing? Would you be interested in writing a response?

We could also just write this crazy bitch a personal email back - and I'd be happy to take that one for the team :)
-----

I can't even believe this.
______

Dear Mitch,
Thanks so much for your expedient and thoughtful reply.

Since it's difficult to "wade through my bile" to find a "valid point" let me try to be a little more clear this time.

Your socks are ugly.  That is my opinion.

Your socks are offensive.  That is a fact.

I'm not going to bother to inundate you with the ways that young women are subtly and not-so-subtly discouraged from learning, enjoying, and pursuing science and mathematics disciplines, and how your socks play into the stereotype that women can't and shouldn't do math.  Luckily, as a math teacher, I have the ability, power, and passion to confront and dissolve this stereotype every day.

What I find more offensive and distasteful than your crappy socks, however, is your poor customer service and business practices.

You encourage website visitors to let you know what they think about your products.  But you clearly don't want to know.  Instead of taking my criticism and giving it some thought, or taking my criticism and just ignoring it, you made a conscious choice to try to belittle and demean me with your smug and self-righteous response.

You told me to "lighten up" at a "local community college."  Your usage of the phrase "local community college" must mean to insinuate that that is the best I could possibly hope for: acceptance to a community college.  Congratulations on your failed attempt to simultaneously insult my intelligence and good institutions of higher education and all they strive to do.

I don't know what fancy and expensive private college you went to, but I wonder if you enrolled in any business classes, because clearly, you haven't learned a thing.

Allow me to help you in constructing what would have been an appropriate response:

"Ms. Phillips, we are sorry you found our product offensive, and not to your taste.  We at BlueQ take great pride in our products and our design. Thank you for your thoughts; we will take this into consideration in the future.  Blue Q is a kind company. We're the area's largest local employer of individuals with disabilities. We  take garbage out of the waste stream and make reusable plastic bags . We donate hundreds of thousands of dollars to the environment and world health organizations. We coddle and care for our employees"

Or

"Ms. Phillips, we are sorry you found our product offensive, and not to your taste.  We of course feel that math is something that young women should study and be proud to study.  Blue Q is a kind company....blah, blah, blah...We coddle and care for our employees."

Or better yet,

"Ms. Phillips, we did not realize this product would come across as anti-feminist.  We will stop production on this sock, and work towards creating ones with more positive messages in the future."

But the pièce de resistance (I see by the use of the word "oeuvre" you understand at least a little French) of your email to me was the email you, I can only assume, forwarded from your dutiful colleague, Silka Glanzman.  Her calling me a "crazy bitch" and wanting to "take one for the team" in retaliation for my email.... well, that just punctuated the point I was trying to make.

I guess in the coddling, caring, kind organization BlueQ, the customer is NOT always right.  She's a crazy bitch.

Forget about your socks.  Work on yourselves.

Cindy Phillips
 
___

Mitch replies:

Ms. Phillips,

MAN your panties are in a bunch!
Get some air up there!

Love,

Mitch

---

I'm going to let Mitch have the last word.  He's doing a good enough job hanging himself.

Saturday, September 20, 2014

People keep asking me for money - Istanbul Edition

Every now and then, I get spam emails at work asking for money.  I write back to them, and see how long I can keep stringing them along.  My responses always involve some trite reference to local food and sights, belittling their difficult and trying times.

I don't think any of them is going to top this one, where I try to date the guy.

Edition #2:  Mark, stuck in Istanbul

____

Good morning,
        I Hope you get this on time, I made a trip to Istanbul and had my bag stolen from me with my passport and personal effects therein. The embassy has just issued me a temporary passport but i have to take care of my expenses and settle my hotel bills with the manager.
             
         I have made contact with my bank but it would take me 3-5 working days to access funds in my account, the bad news is my flight will be leaving very soon but i am having problems settling the hotel bills and the hotel manager won't let me leave until i settle the bills. I need your help financially and i promise to make the refund once i get back home, you are my last resort and hope. Please let me know if i can count on you and i need you to keep checking your email because it's the only way i can reach you.
 Kind regards,
Mark Davis

___

Dear Mark Davis,
That is SO TERRIBLE!  Thank goodness you have access to the internet.  The Turkish Police can be very difficult, from what I hear.  Please, tell me how much you need and I will send it right away!  I hope they are not beating you too much, I’m sure that would hurt.  May I recommend you to have some baklava whilst you wait.
CP

____

I'm so glad to hear from you,I'm stranded and empty without my phone which has limited my communication to email.I feel so sick right now also your lovely email has cheered me up,i need to get my ticket straightened out and sort my hotel bills. I promise to pay you back as soon as I get back home,i need about $1,840,you can have the cash wired to my name and present location via Western Union thank God i still have my passport ID as identification to pick up the money.

The details you need is:

Name : Mark Davis
Location:  Ebusuud Street 213 Sirkeci, Fatih, Istanbul 34210, Turkey.
Amount.. $1,840

    As soon as it has been done, kindly get back to me with the confirmation number. Let me know if you are heading to the Western Union outlet now.

Thanks....  I would want you to take this as a life saving moment i will never forget.


Mark Davis

_____

Dear Mark Davis,
I am so glad to hear you are still OK!  I am at work right now, but as soon as I get home, I’m going to get that money for you.  I can’t go to the bank, because I keep all of my money in the apartment in cash.  Then I am going to get a check written for you by my neighbor, because Western Union costs a lot of money to wire.  But I’m going to send it overnight for you, and you will have it as soon as possible.

While you’re there, can you pick me up a gray pashmina and an ounce of saffron?  I hear they have really good spices in Turkey.

Cindy

____

Okay i am still here waiting to  hear from you with the Western Union details and just keep me posted once you have it done.

Hanging here


Mark Davis

____

Dear Mark Davis,
I am going to run right out of work as soon as I can.  I have already asked my boss if I can leave early.  He said no, but I’m probably going to just sneak out.

I bet you have a really interesting life and have really good stories under your belt.  Maybe we can get together for a cup of Turkish coffee when you return.

You’d be buying, of course.  ;)
Cindy

_____

Sure i will, please keep me posted once you have it done with the MTCN.


Mark Davis

____

Hi Mark Davis!
I went to Western Union last night and they told me I need ID to send you the money.  But my wallet was stolen last week and I don’t have any ID.  I have friend with something called paypal and he said he could send you the money through paypal.  Will that work?  I think I just need this email account?  I hope you’re OK.  Are you safe?  Are you getting enough to eat?  How’s the weather?
Cindy

_____

I can't use paypal here,please you can give the cash to someone who has an ID to wire the money to me.I promise to refund the money once m home...

Please do it asap


Mark Davis

____

Dear Mark Davis,
I am worried about the tone of your email.  Are you mad at me?  I’m trying the best that I can to get you this money, but it is difficult.  I am working long hours and it is hard for me to get the money together to do this.  I went home and I only had about $3000 to give you and I had to ask my mom for the rest.  I had to tell her it was for my sick dog, because she only likes animals, not people.  When I got it all together, I found out I couldn’t use Western Union.

And after all of this, you don’t even say thank you, and your email doesn’t even end in a smiley face, or a winky face, or anything!  I am really looking forward to that coffee date, but now I am worried that you’re mad, and I feel really unappreciated.

Cindy

____

Forgive me for my Words, I'm just sick of the problems am facing right now. Please i appreciate your concern and you are the only one i can count now, things are getting worst right now and getting confuse.
    Kindly have someone send the cash on your behalf also i promise to have a dinner with you once am back.

:)  ;)

God bless you

____


Hi Mark Davis!
I’m sorry this took me so long, I was sick yesterday.  I spoke to my Rabbi, and he said he would help me send you the money, but only if you’re Jewish.  Are you Jewish?  I have another friend named Mark Davis, and he’s Jewish. 

Thank you for your apology, that made me feel better.

;)







People Keep asking me for money - Greece Edition

Every now and then, I get spam emails at work asking for money.  I write back to them, and see how long I can keep stringing them along.  My responses always involve some trite reference to local food and sights, belittling their difficult and trying times.


Edition #1: Marcy, stuck in Greece.



 Hello,
I am sorry I did not inform anyone I was traveling to Greece to see my ill cousin due to the urgency. She is suffering from a kidney failure and needs to undergo an urgent surgery to save her life. I came here with little cash which has been exhausted and now my credit card has malfunctioned, it is not withdrawing money over here.
 I need you to loan me $1,800 to sort out the bill for the necessary surgery to save her, I am not happy with the situation here so I contacted you for some financial assistance. I promise to pay back with some interest as soon as I return before weekend. Your prompt response will be greatly appreciated, I look forward to read from you so I can send you the details to use in sending the money.
Thanks so much!
Marcy :)

____

Oh my god, Marcy!  I am so sorry about your cousin!!  Are you sure you ONLY need $1800??  Is this going to cover future medical expenses?  Have you thought about what sort of things your cousin is going to need AFTER the surgery?

Isn’t the economy in Greece really touch and go right now?  Have you thought about THAT???

Please let me know what else you need. 

____

Hi Cindy,

Thank you so much,
I really will appreciate your help. Yes that is the exact amount I need so you will have to wire $1,800 through a western union outlet to my details below using money in minutes transfer because I can't make use of my account now

Name:Marcy Kornreich
Address: 10 Syngrou Avenue, 
City: Athens 
Zip Code: 11742 
Country: Greece

I will pay back as soon as I return. After the transfer you will let me have the money transfer confirmation number ( Mtcn ) and location the money was sent from. Thanks a lot, I will wait to read from you soon.

Thanks so much!

Marcy :)

_____

Dear Marcy,
I am REALLY not convinced that $1800 USD is enough for you.  I already started a fundraiser at my workplace, and I have so far collected $32.82.  I need more information about your cousin.   A picture of your cousin would be great, you know, to put on the posters.  Is she young?  Any details would be great to get more people more involved.

Last year, there was a child in the community who became very ill, and the outpouring of funds and emotion was so heartwarming!!!  I would love to be able to help.  I get such joy and satisfaction from helping others.

Anything else you could tell me would really help!


____

Hi Cindy,

Her treatment and medications has been taken care of, I need $1,800 to sort out my hotel bills and catch up with the next available flight back home.

Presently am running out of time here, the more days I stay the more bills on me and more over there's no scanner here, she is a young girl. Probably as soon as I return this week I will come with her pictures.

Please let me read from you soon.
Thanks so much!

Marcy :)


______

Dear Marcy,
The fundraiser is going really well!!!  So far we have collected $152.95.  I can’t stop thinking about what you and your cousin must be going through.  I had an aunt who had bone cancer and, well, I wanted to donate my marrow but we weren’t compatible.  So I felt like a huge failure when she passed away.  She was really special to me.  I feel like I have an opportunity to make up for my failure with Aunt Tilly. 

How are you doing?  Are you at least able to see the Acropolis?  You should try Halloumi cheese.  It is grilled, and delicious.

Cindy


_____
Marcy Quits.

Thursday, July 24, 2014

100 notes in loving memory of the greatest note-writer of all time, Jennifer Phillips

Last year's note project was a success, I think.  So I'm going to do it again.

100 notes.  100 days.   Well, approximately 100 days.  For Jennifer.